I actually found it really productive to tell him that I was having this impulse to cyberstalk his wife and discuss what was behind that, rather than actually cyberstalk. I think stalking in real life is a TOTALLY different thing. Having been in the position of having someone actually watch my apartment and follow me to work and then home again, STALKING stalking was truly horrible for me and had lasting impacts for me. [speaking only for myself and offering no advice to anyone.]