it sounds like you are all alone and lack any kind of support system. are you seeing a therapist at all for your depression? if not, that could be very helpful. also seeking out a support group so you can see that you are not alone in what you are feeling. what can you bring into your life so you are not so isolated? can you volunteer somewhere? this will get you out around people and give you something rewarding to do with your time. it usually makes people feel better. take care.