Dear Community,
Sending good wishes for the new year. May we continually activate our goals, demystify our fears, anxieties and perceived limitations, and stretch ourselves to new horizons in 2007.

I have moved recently to a new country, new career, new relationship (after a long distance romance since 2001) . A has been gambling on VLT's after promising that he would gamble no more. (I have just fully realized how deeply pervasive this behavior is in A's life).

A is blowing large wads of cash and saying that it is my fault as he is stressed out. A has been visiting a bar after work frequently that we have never been to together.

A is emotionally abusive when or if we ever discuss this area and or becomes emotionally withdrawn. A is quite often over imbibing. I never told my friends and family what is going on...

We just came back from a vacation together to visit my family. A was able to keep it together then, although he has shut down since we have returned and he is gambling. A brings up little snippets of things I have said in a very angry and accusatory manner, without telling me how he is feeling about much of anything.

A lost his mother last month. His mother died unexpectantly and he was estranged from her. I have not been feeling like I can comfort him as he barely talks about her.

...I finally talked to one of my sisters, I told A that I did and he says that I humiliated him. None of his family and friends seem to know about pervasive his gambling compulsion is...so to talk to my sister and say things outloud made it real.

I feel alone, somewhat crazy, anxious and paralyzed to move forward through faulty thinking. I feel like I am sinking and I am supposed to be going to my friend's birthday party this evening with A and he is sleeping. I cannot get myself motivated to go alone and feel more guilty and anxious.

Thank you for listening. Writing this down is helping me feel more courageous.