this f****** sucks, my husband saw his pdoc and because I wasn't in there he forgot that I raised his Ad a while ago because we couldn't get ahold of any doctors. so she raised it to the exact same dose that his been taking for the past month and a half. and tells him that she will see him in 6 weeks. What the f*** He's been on the same damn/dose medicine he tried to commit suicide on last week. he f****** told her that he tried.

I go up to see if I can make an appointment at an earlier date is November 1st! so I ask if I was on the cancellation Iist. Even after asking 3 times, I was not on his cancellation list. I'm well enough to understand that im doing well, and that my meds arn't going to kill me. I don't want to get to the point then I'm paranoid, not eating,and just batshit crazy. My husband has already shown that you will not call anyone and even after I asked him when feeling better he says "he wouldn't do that to me because I'm paranoid" so I can't even trust him. I think if by Monday i haven't got a hold of pdoc I'll be calling my therapist for options. I can't trust he'll be alive when I get out.