I have been wanting to die for a while. I have not been suicidal but, I have been hoping and praying to the universe that I would die somehow. Car accident, bombing, idk whatever. The past few days I have been very tired of waiting for the universe and I keep planning out something and then my dog comes to mind. I love this dog like a son. He is the love and light of my life and every time I think of a plan, I remember that I'd be leaving him and I can't do it. I've been raising him for almost 5 months now and I can't get over how much I love him, it's a joke with the guy I'm sorta seeing that there's no room left for anyone else in my heart and that will have to just be okay with him.

That sounds all good that he keeps pulling me back but, maybe this is crazy but I find myself getting angry. Not at him, just in general that he keeps ruining it. I do not want to live life anymore but I just can't leave him, it's frustrating...

I'm sorry if this is crazy, it's just what I'm feeling...