(((PumpkinEater)))

I understand and hear what you are saying about maternal transference. I'm not sure exactly about a bell curve, but (I think) there is definitely a strong correlation between transference and perceived loss... after all, if there wasn't a perceived loss of some kind, would we even have transference?

This is an ongoing area that I have explored with a couple of different T's over the last 6-7 years. I had always thought that the reason I so strongly identified and idealized my female T's was because of some need that I never got from my mother. I still believe this is true. For most of the 6-7 years, I also wasn't in a significant relationship with a partner, and so I felt very strongly a physical ache or need to be held my T. I thought this would dissipate once I was in a relationship..... in some sense it did as part of my needs were being met.... but still, I long to be held by T. This leads me to think that this other need of mine... will largely always exist. - but, it's not as strong (per see) as it was before...

It's hard to hear, but from my experience, the only way to de-intensify the physical ache and transference I feel with T, is to try and fulfill those needs by other people in my life. What do you do in the meantime? ... Talk to your T about it.. it can be very healing.

Hugs,
Jacq