Hello everyone, I'm new on here, but guess what I struggle with is self-isolation and very low self-esteem. Just simply put I just feel I don't belong and have felt this way for a very long time. I don't want to kill or hurt myself, but I have feelings at times that I wish I had never existed. I've felt this way for a long time, it's just the extent that I feel this that fluctates, some daays I feel great, others I don't. Now I do my best to not let these feelings rule my life because I know the more I dwell on these thoughts, that will bring me down a bad road, I try to hangout with friends and at times even help them too and do things I like for myself. Yet deep down I always feel this way, I keep asking myself what can I change or how can I change these feelings and have done vigorous research and have tried many different methods too. I know I'm smart, I believe that I can be more then this worthless feeling, but I really don't know how. I feel this way and tend to isolate myself, but on the other hand I know that won't solve the problem so I try to do things about these feelings. Guess I'm kind of conflicted between living as a "shadow" and isolating myself and living in the "bright sun" and just living my life. I don't expect answers from anyone, but I just want to know how/what must I do to feel like I belong? And how do I stop isolating myself like a turtle that pokes it's head out and then retreats back into shell?