When you KNOW that someone you care about is going to die really soon and it's just a matter of time ... it really kills.

*triggerish*


My aunt has cancer, had lung cancer and had the lobe removed - now she has brain cancer and more than one tumor and more spots on her brain. And a blood clot in the artery in her leg. She's on constant morphine for the pain... I saw her back in October and I hate seeing her so miserable and sick. I really am trying to be supportive of my dad (it's his sister) and whatnot but I hate this ...

Now I've been home for the holidays and my family's one dog (we've got 2 dogs, 2 cats) is very sick. Sporadically coughing and has tumors all over his body. I don't want to lose my baby, he's been the only one of my entire family to always be there for me for the last 12 years. (He's not in pain though even with all of that). I consider him my baby because he's the one thing that's kept me going -- and my avatar is a reminder of him (he's a beagle).

I don't want to lose them ... this is what's on my mind right now. And during the holidays too.