He did some horrible, awful things to me, sexually. He threatened me and my mom and my little sister if I told. Every night. From age 4 yrs to 11 yrs when I hit puberty. My T says he hated women. My T hates him and my mom for letting it happen night after night. How could she not know?? Every night. Every. night. for hours. I wasn't raped and I wasn't killed, but pretty much everything else. He dislocated my jaw over and over through forcing oral sex. My mouth was just too small. And he humiliated me sexually. The things he did...I can hardly tell my T. I am forcing myself to because it hurts so bad. When I was in therapy as an adult of 18 I told. He was still alive and my sister was still in the house. But my T back then never reported it. My current T doesn't understand that. He said it should have been reported. My T doesn't understand how my father got away with it his whole life. He has been dead now for 8-9 years. I'm not really sure how long. I don't really care that he is dead. I am glad he is dead.

He hurt me. And I was so small. So very small. I was hurt so bad. I feel so bad. I feel so sad for that little girl. He dislocated my jaw. IT still pops out when I yawn or chew. He hurt me, made me bleed. Sometimes I just want to hurt myself. Because I think it was my fault How awful must I have been for my father to treat me like that? What was it about me? What is wrong with me? He was supposed to love me and care for me, protect me. Instead he humiliated me and abused me. I can't. I can't do this. I just can't stand it.