One more thing, since my parents have a sort of big house, 3 stories. The basement is empty and my father always asked me why don't we renovate it for me so I can have some place to come home to...in the light of my recent events, I'm thinking about it, and my GF asked me the same question...

but I feel this is a loss, coming home instead of living on my own...and I feel ashamed...like everyone will be judging me for that