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emily4040 said:
What helped me in the past to distinguish the two is to think of someone I love in my personal life, say a bf, and all the stuff I know about him...what he likes to eat, how he drives, how he acts with kids/dogs/cats, what makes him laugh/sneeze/cry, how he talks to his parents/children, etc.

Then I tried to answer the same questions for my T. Well, heck. I have no clue...cuz I don't really KNOW him. I just had thoughts and feelings about him....but they came from within me...not from truly knowing him.

I hope that helps. I know how difficult this issue can be.

Em

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If the feeings are coming from us then what do with them? If once we realise its not about the other person? why have them? If I have these feelings and want to believe they are about the other person? what good are they just being inside of me? or do they go away once we realise this?