Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
yea it can be a catch 22. do I look at that little box and see who is coming to my profile or do I not look and miss out on seeing that one of my friends visited my profile.
for me its not a ....compromise....whether I use all the great features psych central offers or not is simply a way of my choosing whether I want to take care of myself that day....I love it that psych central has these features that we can have freedom of choice with. I live in america. our way of life here in america is one which Americans do have freedoms ...freedoms of all kinds including what we choose to read, look at online. heck we can even look at porn online if we choose too where as many other countries dont have such freedoms, I was reading recently on yahoo news that some countries have banned google, yahoo and other well known part of the internet because the government cant control what their citizens are reading, visiting, chatting with...
to me its a grand thing that we do have the freedom to choose whether we want to look at that little who's visiting your profile box. some days when I know Im just not in the mood to see, read, interact with those that trigger me I do place the person on ignore and I close out that who's visiting my profile" box. that way I can enjoy my time here knowing Im not setting myself up to be triggered. As an American its up to me to take care of myself when I am using the internet. As a member of psych central I know also the general rule of thumb is that only I can take care of me.
psych central supplies the self help tools (like having the "who's visiting the profile" box open or closed per each members choice) but its up to me to choose to use them or not...I choose to use them.
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So all that you've said I basically agree with.
My essential issue is that if I am trying to avoid interaction with this person, I have no way of avoiding them "giving me hugs".
The profile issue is secondary to that, though still sort of reeks of punishing those who want, need or attempt to set boundaries.
No one here actually knows the reasons for my avoidance nor what specific feelings I may have about someone I am trying to avoid who does the internet version of blatantly invading my personal space. That is not actually necessary information, though.
I appreciate the recommendation that I should help myself and take some proactive action.
The reality is that despite me attempting to do this, the tools available are not complete nor do they actually really accomplish what I assume to be (though I admit possibly incorrectly) the goal of such tools: self care, empowerment to alter, change or avoid things which upset us, and within that a continued way to access an environment of support with as few feelings of fear or anxiety regarding personal exposure or vulnerability as possible.
It can be suggested that I have failed to take on the responsibility of knowing and setting my boundaries within this site.
That would not be terribly accurate.
I did take it on. I set boundaries and gained what ended up being a false sense of security because an individual who I am trying to distance myself from can go to any post I have made and impose their presence specifically on me in what can be taken as an intimate way.
When one takes a different route to work, or doesn't go to a party to avoid somone, the thing least expected is to have that person randomly put an arm around you.
Because steps were taken which were assumed sufficient to avoid them.
As I had done prior to posting the thread. I thought that was clear but it's possible it wasn't.