I actually came across this forum for other reasons but I saw this section and it triggered off another issue I've been quiet about forever (wife kind of knows there is a problem but it's not something we speak about... I'll get to that)

I am 36 and I'm a virgin. Been in a steady relationship for 15 years (married for 4)... had several girlfriends before that... but never actually had sex. I am scared. For many years I convinced (lied to) myself that I was A sexual.

I understand that it might sound weird to be married and not want to consummate... But I took the vows very seriously. I love her and would do anything to make sure she is happy and content... and so this is why this problem of mine is coming to a crux that I need to face.

I am currently feeling quite conflicted. My wife wants a child... she's broached the subject but is not forcing the issue (bless her) so I don't feel necessarily threatened that she's going to leave me or anything... but I'm feeling guilt and nervousness all at the same time.

I have quite a bit of insecurity with regards to my genitals that stem from an early age. When I was young (4) I had to have a testicle removed and for whatever reason other children I knew found out about it and it was a cause for bullying and ridicule throughout most of my school years.

I'm old now and both wise enough and ugly enough to know children are cruel and in reality it should have no effect on me as a fully grown adult male... but I still feel petrified about 'doing the business'. I am attracted to my wife... I love her body and all of that... but yeah I've got this 'block' is the only way to describe it and I don't know what to do to overcome it. Scared that I won't 'perform'... that I won't 'please' her... that perhaps I'm infertile due to the childhood operation... and so I'm just procrastinating the issue.

Not really sure what kind of help or advice can be given over this... but throwing it out there since I'm in a place of limbo and the wife's body clock is ticking.