Rant on, I have been dealing with the huge stress you described here, it sucks. My dad passed away 2002, he had emphysema, and then in 2 months after torture he went through, like the ICU having to cut a whole in his trach, cause he could not be kept on the ventilator, they claimed the esophagus can't hold out too long, this procedure robbed him of the ability to talk to us, he was never to eat for the 2 months, just IV feeding tube, it was a horror story, I miss him and I apologize for the whining. Mom, I have had living with us for 9 months (too long) has the whole nine yards, congestive heart failure, respiratory distress, diabetes and the complications that go with that, and vascular dementia, I can really feel for you, and it is good you have come to the forums to talk, I find talking to the wonderful people here help me to hang on. I know this overwhelming feeling, and there are others here that also relate so you will find support with this.
Sometimes I am totally drained physically and emotionally, I am in therapy which started about 4 years ago not related to this recent accumalation of events. I took mom home from FL when she had been hospitalized 6 times in one month, I couldn't take the fact she was alone and the neighbors who were often too busy to look in on here urged me to get her out of her home, even ICU told me she can take a turn for the worst her kidneys were starting to show signs of shutdown, coincidently this nurse was one of the ones that had been assigned to my dad so she remembered me.
See, here I go talking out and about about my stories of woe, and I hope it is okay with you, I hope I can open the door for you to come here as often as you like and vent or whatever you need to say, you can even post at caregiver forum, there is where I can post and reply to those going through the sort of things a caregiver has to or volunteers to.
I am wishing you hope and strength, most of all I wish you some time for yourself, we need time apart from the reality once in awhile. . . helps us to carry on.
I just hold onto the fact that this will all come to pass, even if I lose my mom to her illness, she contributes a lot to her health problems, so I have been her nurse with meds and reminding her to take them, also her dietician, whew, I never thought this would be my life in my middle age stage.
Sorry I yacked your ears off, please take care now.

Sincerely,
DE

PS you can PM me anytime if you wish to talk about this.

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON