Hi, Teresa35.
I'm truly sorry that you are going through all this. It seems that your guy doesn't truly love you by the way he treats you and sounds threatening. If he keeps breaking up with you and coming back on and off, maybe he doesn't know what he truly wants?? I can see that you truly love him and care about him. When your family didn't accept him, you did. When they rejected him, you didn't. Does he see that in you? It's never a mistake to care about someone, much more love someone. Can he see your worth? Does he realize that you are a blessing? You love him and fear him at the same time. There's no fear in love. If you truly love him, you would be at peace.

Don't worry about what people think of you or how you look. God loves you just the way you are and you are beautiful in His eyes. Worrying about what others think will keep you a prisoner. He is the only one who will never hurt you. He sees every tear that you cry, knows every moment you're alive. He knows your heart and understands how you feel. I'm going through something myself and need someone to talk to. I would like to be your friend and be here for you.