Hi all

I found this site by accident and have had a good read of your posts - I'm completely at a loss at the moment.

I've had depressive episodes for about 20 years now (I'm now 40) and it's only recently that my doc has referred me to a psych consultant, as he is concerned I'm bp.

I've spent most of Christmas analysing my life and doing the tests and all - and it does seem to fit with my behaviour.

I feel very mixed emotions. Relief that finally somebody may be able to help me with what's been a pretty hellish existence for the last 20 years. But also regret that what I think is 'me' (my highs - my intense interests and learning and creativity especially) may be the result of what is classed an 'illness'.

I've started keeping mood charts, and my partner is doing the same for me. But I just feel very well, 'lost' at the moment.

Sorry, rambling on. Really I just wanted to say hello!

Heather