I have times when I want to go back to the old ways, but my desire to stay sober is stronger and keeps me that way. This is because I felt the way you do and was also very hard on myself. I have so much more respect for myself now. Not just because I don't drink, because Im not going to beat myself down or let anyone else beat me down. So what if you missed work, you can try again.
Something better may be waiting for you. You are looking for the answers in your life and you will find them and once you do you will know it. You not working doesn't make you bad in anyway, I'm sure your a very nice person and deserve to be treated that way, be kind to yourself. Try to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. Job or no job.