I keep saying I'm well enough to understand I'm not well. There has been tons of new good progress this time. I'm not denying that my/my husband symptoms look severe on the outside. If I am down playing it, it's only because 'this' is extremely light for us. That also concerns us given the responses here (which I trust) as I truly did feel that this was light hypo-mania and he was 'just' an episode of dysthymia . My husband was also very surprised by the responses. I hope no one feels violated that I shared some responses with him. If you do please PM me so I don't share your reponses.

I understand this effects Miguel, all we can do for him is shield him as much as possible, give him our love, give him one stable adult in the house, get him as much support people as possible, and make sure we understand what parts are genetic and what are learned behaviors. I feel all parents cause their children issues but when raising him the best we can do is get him support and make sure he grows up as happy and healthy as possible.

What needs to happen to make your entire family truly safe and healthy again?

This is a very complex question and will need more thought but this is currently what I can think of.

I really think we need to get out of the house daily. Even if it's to walk the complex, currently because of our financial situation we are only leaving the house 2x a month. I need to fill my aterax that calms me but is not as sedating and numbing as AP and doesn't have a calorie value (in my head). We upped our meds while we continuing to try to contact our pdoc to assure that's what they want to do. I need sleep! I do think we are getting better. I need to get the boys back into karate. I need to spend the time they're in karate on art or an open college course. All of us need to start the mood /event /thought chart and daily therapy journal again. We need to write down all the things we usually do to keep each other safe so that it's concrete. I need to decide whether my SI kit can currently stay in our home or if it needs to be removed until a later date.