(FYI- MAJOR trigger warning. I don't want to gross out or trigger anyone, so please don't proceed if you're triggered by descriptions!)

Do you ever feel like it's never enough, whatever you do to hurt yourself?

Like, when I used to bang my head against the wall, there wouldn't be a bruise or any blood, and I felt unsatisfied.

And when I cut, there is NEVER enough blood. I don't usually succeed in cutting very deep (most of my cuts don't even leave visible scars), and it always frustrates me. I end up with 7 billion baby, pathetic, shallow cuts, instead of the one deep, bloody cut I want.

I hate it. For me, the pain is almost secondary when I cut. What I really, really want to see is the blood. I want it to drip down my [insert body part here], and be able to see it pool. But instead, all I get are those pathetic, stupid little beads of blood on the cut. And that's if I'm lucky!

I've done everything I can to make them deeper, from pressing harder to buying BRAND SPANKIN' NEW blades, and nothing works.

Not really sure what I wanted from this, except to know if anyone else felt like this, I guess.