arachnophobia.kid: Perhaps you're right...it's just that I've been so busy with work and school that I've neglected the church, and my parents don't help either, they want me to focus on studies, and at the the same i don't want to fight with them? it's really hard, being nice and at the same time trying to contribute. Yeah, there is a void...needing to be satisfied. Thank you for pointing that out...

Hawkspur: Hmm Heaven for me just means. Heaven, like what children envision. To be with God. I want to be at peace, I want to be a good person, and yeah I always feel the need to have huge life objectives! It's amazing you noticed that somehow...and yes I guess I'm just not happy with myself. Thank you for reminding me that little things like that also contribute!