One of the websites I looked at gave statistics that said that most people who SI are in their teens and twenties. So what happens with most people who SI when they get out of their twenties? Do they resolve their problems or not live that long or what? I just figured that I must not be typical. I started when I was 5 and now I'm 33 and still do it, but usually only every 1-3 years or so. I do more damage each time though. The last time was in February and I had been really depressed all winter and I used SI to break free of the depression. I started feeling better after that. Not completely, and I think it will always come back, but that was what worked. Just today I told my therapist that I used it as a tool and it worked and he agreed. Of course he had to add something about it not being the best way. I wish I could remember exactly what it was that he said... Anyway, what I am realizing right now is that I use it as a tool. I do it more than I think too (without being aware of it even) if you count stuff that doesn't actually leave a mark for very long - like if I am trying to concentrate on something but part of me would rather drift away and dissociate, I start jabbing myself with my fingernails without knowing it just to stay focused. I caught myself doing that during therapy but didn't say anything.

There are some very good websites out there with good information and explanations of why we SI. If you haven't found them, write to me and I'll share my links with you. It wasn't until recently that I even knew about other people who did it, and knowing that you're not alone and that there are people who can understand really can help.