What made me think of that was the desperation I do see in both of y'all trying to save yourselves ... I was hoping that neither of you had gotten so lost in the other's issues that you couldn't see your own.

I think you've answered that for me ... You seem to be quite aware of yourself and where you are with your stuff - that you haven't totally pushed it aside and gotten lost in your husband's stuff to the disregard of your own - and that's a good thing.

I like your analogy of two people drowning yet still trying to save each other ... And no, I'm not implying y'all should just let the other self-destruct ... Just make sure you both don't go under at the same time, because, then where would Miguel be?

When my family's ship was going down, the best thing I ever did was let go of them and focus on "saving" myself. This in turn freed them up so they could also focus on "saving" themselves.

The optimum outcome would be that all are saved and none are lost ... Unfortunately that isn't always the case ... However, it would be better for one to survive than for all to perish.

Does that make any sense at all?

Do keep trying ... But, it might be time to try something different because the current rescue attempt doesn't seem to be working out too well.

Sometimes we can be so close to (and lost in) what isn't working that we simply can't see what other options are available to us - and in those options will be the very thing that does work!

Keeping y'all in my thoughts & prayers ...