I really don't know what else to do but try to hang on. Are team seems to be failing currently but at the same time my husband wanted me to think about IP weeks ago but didn't bring it up with either therapist. If I would have known that he tried another method of sui then my answer would have been different when my T asked "if I thought he'd make it through the next 2 weeks". So I am mad at him for that especially when I went in not understanding English and my T was very concerned. I know T would have thrown me IP if he didn't assure T that he was well enough to make sure I'd be okay until my pdoc appointment. It would have also been nice to know that Miguel didn't feel safe talking to me before my appointment instead of hours after. Then I 'missed' my pdoc appointment as I was 10 min late and had a T appointment 10 min. from then even though I was going to be on campus. If it wasn't a new receptionist that would not have happened. I'm considered walk-in clients, meaning if I walk in and ask to see pdoc I may have to wait but he does see me and go into 'crisis mode'. I may do that on Monday but I really don't like doing that but maybe it's time.

Usually we are to wrapped up in our own issues to see the others issues. So at times I'm sure it's like pulling teeth for our T's to find out where each of us are mood wise. Which may have been the issue this time too.

When my family's ship was going down, the best thing I ever did was let go of them and focus on "saving" myself. This in turn freed them up so they could also focus on "saving" themselves. I had to do this with my family too. They didn't save themselves resulting in me being the most stable one and constant financial and legal troubles for them.

However, it would be better for one to survive than for all to perish. I know but that sucks.