Maybe CBT is not for you or maybe it just isn't the right time. You need therapy to deal with the anger coming up about being bp. This isn't a healthy emotion for you to be regularly feeling. You need to address it and accept your diagnosis. I too struggle with my dx, and the stigma attached to having a mental illness. When people find out, they treat you differently and look at you funny. Or is that just me? Good luck and take care. Have you told your T about how you're feeling and your thoughts on CBT?