80+ hours a week is insane and I worked 50 to 60 a week, years ago, which I know contributed to the worsening of my bipolar illness and put me on disability.

Your husband can't stonewall it. Are you under medical/psychiatric care? If you are, share this with your doctor/therapist. If you're not getting care, get it now. If talking with your husband is difficult, write him a heartfelt letter and just give it to him. My wife and I have done that because at times face to face discussions were too emotional. She's now in therapy, I'm back in therapy.

We've had a volatile relationship since we started dating 20 years ago and marriage only made things worse. She's now dealing with issues she refused to deal with before we met. And again, even if your family needs the money, 80 hours a week isn't going to help your health or your marriage. And your husband can't keep you at arm's length. Maybe it is difficult for him to understand your psych/emotional issues but he has to. Or, if you have medical insurance, tell your psychiatrist you want or need to be hospitalized. First, it will give you a break from working yourself to death and perhaps it will be the wake up call your husband needs.