Teresa, you need more than cyber friends/advice; you need to see a therapist. I started seeing a shrink when I was 16 because I knew I was screwed up. I'm now 63 with untreatable severe bipolar illness of seven years duration and I haven't thrown in the towel. Sometimes I want to! But by reading and researching, I've become as knowledgeable as some of my doctors, lol, so I know that possibilities for taming my illness still exist. No excuses. Get professional help. Then, like a laser, put all your energy into passing your medical school entrance exam, become a doctor and help other people.