1. Obviously your problems are real, not in your imagination
2. Obviously you are already doing manythings right to survive.
3. Appreciate yourself

4. I am th identified patient. I have had 20 years for my loved ones to figure how to work with me to help me. They still haven't got it, but at leastthey care.
5. It sounds as though yuou care, and tht couints for something.

6. I am caretaker for my 90 year old father. He's like your husband in one respect- he wants to make his problem my fault. When he and I remember differently he assumes it is my memory that is wrong. It is exhaustingto be a caregiver. Worse than a parent, because the person won't give up control to you like a child must.

7. An enabler is nota caretaker. An enabler does the same things, but they needto havethe problem continue so they can be needed.

8. In any case, your own survival is crucial. If you go down your husband goes down.

9. Try to not go crazy. Think about small changes that will help you survive. Small changes add up. Not baby steps. Small changes can just be small things in themselves. For example, you could startcancelling creditcards one at a time.

10. It is a bad scene to have to getpeople to take their medicine. It is the mirror image of getting a drinker to not drink. I don't know what works, but you might look at what is not working. Have you called his doctor?

11. If he isn'tplaying fair, why are you? It is an excellentchoice notto stoop to his level, but choose it on purpose so yo can feel good aboutyourself tht you are the better person, in spite of his attempts to convince you otherwise.

12. When I am irritable I believe the world andother people have become irritating. I really don't know there has been a change in me. When it is something thatreally is irritating - like small childlren- I may never admit the problem is with me.

13. Avaoid being irritating aand you can be sure the problem is him and not you. Might give you some satisfaction.

14. Didn't know I had all this. Sorri ifit is too much.