Back after months and today I can't even remember why I'm in this pissy mood in the first place. I think it just came out of nowhere, like most of these angry or depressed feelings do. Everything right now is pissing me off for no reason. Noise, messing up while I type, this slow computer, thinking, not being able to concentrate, etc.

So far, I range from okay/normal, to sad and depressed, to angry and full of rage. I get quickly irritable over anything. I curse out loud to no one, think of how to kill and hurt people and sometimes attack our pets when it's time to cater to them.

I'm just sitting here ruminating on all the things that make me angry because I'm too pissed to try anything else (boxing, meditating, etc), as if those methods will help anyway. I'm trying to listen to music, but it's not really helping. What does help though is to let it go away on its own and not to do much in between.


I've always bottled up my anger and it's getting worse. I think it was a history of mine to do that. I've had a history of bottling up, only to explode on someone as a kid. I was bullied in school and had to sit by and listen to my family members argue and fight. I felt like the odd member out. I had no one (and still no one) to really talk to.