My husband has BPD and has a HUGE need for physical affection, and like you said, not necessarily sexual. It is almost insatiable at times and it seems as if no amount of demonstrative affection truly "fills" that need, probably because it really isn't about the physical touch -- there are bigger issues at hand.

As someone on the receiving end of this need, I can say that it can be overwhelming to have that kind of "demand" and expectation on me all the time. I mean, sometimes I just need my own "bubble", and the effect is that I tend to cringe at the need after awhile rather than want to respond, so his fears of not getting enough affection backfire on him and become a self-fulfilling prophecy unfortunately.