Totally down today. H was in a horrible mood which just magnifies everything I'm doing wrong, everything I'm not doing & everything I should be doing. Sometimes I wish I could have a substitute mom jump in & make things better until I'm better. I'm doing major damage to my family! I can see it...in all of them. What would they be like or how would their life be if I wasn't involved in it? That eats away @ my soul!