I like what you have to share. I think I may have been guilty of believing my problems are bigger than others as I want to be dead every day of my life. I would like to be like many of the mentally ill people I know. I'd like to be like the ones who actually get any help at all. I'm poor, but a veteran, so I have access to "health care" but in more than 10 years of VA Mental Health I am ONLY EXPONENTIALLY WORSE. Personally I think incompetent MHC is FAR WORSE than no treatment at all and I've had a ton of it from psychologists and psychiatrists educated in third world countries and we put these people over the care of veterans whom they have zero respect, compassion, patience, or even a desire to help. Sorry getting off topic. I would like to know that there is someone in this world who at least reports feeling as extreme as I do. I never have. I am an absolute alien on planet earth. I'm miserable and I can't believe humans deny me the right to euthanasia AND refuse to provide any level of relief for my continuous suffering. I feel I'm being tortured by the people who are supposed to help me. They give me nothing to relieve my pain and if I want to relieve my own pain I have to grow the courage to do it myself. If I don't get help soon I will find the courage to help myself. Or I will finally find strength in an Exit Partner.