I grieve for all I have missed. My education, my kids being born and growing up, summers, holidays, graduations. All gone. All due to depression, ECT and meds. My kids are always asking "do you remember when..." and it nearly kills me to say I don't. It makes them feel terrible too. What troubles me the most is the fear that I may pass this beast on to one or more of them. I was 23 when this started. I am 57 now and I continue to have severe memory and concentration problems. We have to play with the cards we are dealt.