(Vows...) Ughh you're going through this and being accused of that "making your spouse's life intolerable" ... ??? I'm so sorry, that's very cruel. He has no idea what being the bp person is like. I think a good lawyer is necessary. Spousal support should be based more on the lifestyle you've been accustomed to - I have heard that. And if you can, keep communications between attorneys to avoid contact with him.