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Silent Efforts: I understand totally! I never thought of it like that, as testing myself and cushioning the blow.... but it fits perfectly.
It definitely hurts the most when I reach out and actually am being me. Whether it's when I reach out about something I need, or to share my actual emotions... or whether it's me when I'm genuinely excited about something. I am so so so easy to crush when I open up about those.
But when I'm showing the Constructed Me... it doesn't hurt as much. It just means that the behaviour needs refined, or I need a new approach with that person.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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