Really very sorry to hear about your pain. And I can relate to some of it. I have been teetering in/out of my darkness a lot lately. It is no fun.

Sux about your insurance battle..... And I do not want to presume about another persons financial status. What I would say to you is this... You are going through a pretty dark time. And I certainly hope you are not a sui-risk. But if there is any doubt - then you have to get help.

Hey - you can't take it with you. Might as well spend it on something that could help you LIVE life.