hugs, hugs. I've been in your place with the first T whom I got attached to--and I only saw her for 5 months in person and 8 months intermittent phone appts while I was out of the country. But, it was I who moved out of the country for 10 months and then she couldn't guarantee that we'd be able to work together when I return because of her family situation. We didn't but I can report 6 years later that I've been able to find 2 other AMAZING Ts. I never, ever, never, ever would have thought this possible. And I did work with a 'lemon' for 2 years and meet with 3 more for 1-5 sessions before knowing they were a good match. BUT as much as I couldn't imagine 6 years ago ever opening up to someone else (and I, too, cried every night), now I can't imagine my life without my current T, whom I've been working with for 3+ years. I'm even glad that she couldn't work with me when I got back, as much pain as it caused, because my current T has changed my life in ways I didn't think possible. I feel your pain, I've so been there now 2 times. But there are other great Ts out there. And with each one your focus becomes slightly different. Good luck and more hugs.