Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily5473
My t is leaving in less than a month. I always knew she was gonna leave at the end of the year, but I never thought it would come this fast. I love her. I love her. And I just wish that I could have gotten to know her outside of therapy. I know everybody says that's its transference, but I don't care. She was my first t and she's a rockstar. I only saw her for 6/7 months, but I'm having a very hard time letting go. Ever since I've realized how little time we have left together I've shut down. I know this frustrates her, but I just don't want it hurt. I pretend like everything is fine, but she sees right through me. I cry almost every night. She's done sooo much for me. How can someone so special to me, just leave? How am I supposed to go on like nothing ever happened? I don't ever want to do therapy again, b/c if I can't have her, I don't want anyone.
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((((((((HUGSSSSS)))))))
I don't know what I can tell you that will make you feel any better. I don't think there is anything anyone can say that can make you feel better. As weird as your feelings seem to you...which they are in no way weird...but I know you must be telling yourself that, at least I know I tell myself that a lot...I want you to know that your feelings are not weird and are completely valid. Her being your therapist is a major role in your life even though, like others do, you try to minimize that because they are not really our friends or family so we can't really put them in a certain category...they are still a major part of us because we reveal so much to them. In many cases they know more about us than even the closest person to us knows...and more than we do to a point because they help us see things about ourselves that we don't or can't see. We are sick emotionally and mentally and they help us get better.
To me it seems like you are grieving...or trying to at least. This is completely the right thing to do and you should surrender yourself to these feelings and open up to your T about you grieving over her leaving. I would say you should do it before she leaves though because you will regret not opening up to her about this after she leaves. Maybe try calling her up before your next appointment or sending her an email if that is possible. You deserve to feel what you are feeling and go through this process.
