I honestly do not think there is a treatment in this word that could cure me. Sure I could take medicines that would mask my true emotions or pay money to talk to someone about it but they'll still be there. I'm broken, unfixable a mess. I know what I should do and I know what people will tell me to do but for some reason I just know that this feeling runs deeper than just mood swings and hormones, it's been encoded and entwined into my very being. No one understands, especially my not my friends which makes this loneliness and isolation all the more crippling. I hate myself so much. I try to do good things and help others but in the end i'll always do more bad than good and most of the other times I have no idea what I'm doing. Days just blend into meaningless moments where I contemplate life and all the bad decisions I've made during my short one. I'm weak, I've been defeated, I'm a failure and ashamed of myself.