At this point in my life, I know exactly what I need to be doing if I want to be successful in the future. I need to start getting research experience and building relationships with professors if I want to get into grad school and get a good career in the field I want to work in. I need to start putting more effort into talking to new people and making new friends so that I can have a network of people in real life I can rely on, rather than just relying on people on the internet. I know that I need to be doing all of this. But I just can't seem to find the motivation to try, and I fear failure, or worse, fear that even if I succeed it won't make a bit of difference on how I feel.