Tao,
You are making progress towards being in control of your life, and towards rising above the clouds and fog of depression. There are ups and downs, but your gains have lately have been bigger than your losses. When you sink down into the fog, you can't see what you did when you were above it, and it seems like it wasn't real at all, but that's the illusion. Your progress is real, and you will continue to see it as you continue to work on it and reach out for help and stand up for yourself as you have been doing.
{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color=orange>"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill "</font color=orange>