Thoughts and feelings belong to the person doing the thinking and feeling and we cannot know about another person's "true" thoughts and feelings except by their putting them into action. If he is abusing you, he is not respecting you and you must respect yourself; you are you and all you have in a literal sense. We must respect others and treat ourselves with respect and insist that others treat us with respect also, no matter who they are or what their own issues may be; those issues are their problem, our issues are our problem. Feeling bad, sorry, empathy, whatever for someone else is about us and our feelings and we need to use our feelings to help us with our own behavior to ensure our safety, sanity, "balance"/selfhood.