Quote:
Originally Posted by 1914sierra
But this isn't a child and the T isn't a parent, no matter how much a client might fantasize about them being a parent. T's don't have to throw out boundaries just to indulge the client's apparent child-like "needs". This seems potentially very confusing for the client in the long run -- one of those loose boundary issues that will come back to bite the T and the client in the butt.
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Well - easy for you to say? Your "needs" not being filled when they should have been aren't interfering with you getting on in life - you have a job and a family. You're functional. You've procreated. We're talking about stuff that is getting in the way of a person getting to that level. Imo, it's an underexplored area of psychology. People just say, oh too bad for you, suck it up, instead of trying to find a way to work with you. I think a symbolic action like hair combing can open the door to a lot of stuff.
Just talking about it might be enough, maybe not. I wanted to file my t's nails. The urge was there in words, but then the thought of actually touching him was repulsive. I think in t, it's important not to say no too early - to follow these thoughts where they lead us.