Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Well - easy for you to say? Your "needs" not being filled when they should have been aren't interfering with you getting on in life - you have a job and a family. You're functional. You've procreated. We're talking about stuff that is getting in the way of a person getting to that level. Imo, it's an underexplored area of psychology. People just say, oh too bad for you, suck it up, instead of trying to find a way to work with you. I think a symbolic action like hair combing can open the door to a lot of stuff.
Just talking about it might be enough, maybe not. I wanted to file my t's nails. The urge was there in words, but then the thought of actually touching him was repulsive. I think in t, it's important not to say no too early - to follow these thoughts where they lead us.
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Talk about it from now to forever--absolutely! That's valuable therapy. But jumping to the action, even if you don't find it a creepy boundary crossing, in fact stops the exploration. That's not valuable therapy.
And it isn't about shaming someone for having needs, but rather getting satisfaction in an appropriate way. I don't think indulging a need is necessarily the same as satisfying it.