my therapist and I didnt do a lot of what you call "parts work" as in my therapist and I mapping my alters, trying to get my alters to cooperate, trust my therapist , my wife, family or friends.

the short version is that almost all my alters were "categorical". what that means is each one of my alters had their own way of being, their own thought process, their own perception of their self, me, others in our lives, events/situations/environment...

because of this my alters thought, said and behaved the way they did because it was their job, purpose, reason for being.

example...

the IFS way is to promotes teaches getting along with each other, the environment, family/friends...trust each other and those outside the system of alters, boundary setting, ....

a therapist could sit for hours and hours trying to teach the self abuser in my to love and respect and get along with the body, host, other parts, my wife, family and others but because my alters are so categorical the outcome would not be the same as the expected outcome of IFS therapy......

with in me ... the alter who's job, purpose reason for being would continue to do their job of self injuring, their self, the body, me, others if they got in the way.

A therapist could sit for hours and hours trying to teach/set boundaries but if the alters job, purpose, reason for being was to get angry, swear/push others away/be non trusting then thats what that alter was going to do

nothing and no one was going to change/prevent my alters from being who they were, how they were, from doing their job,purpose, reason for being.

Instead of trying to change my alters to be the way my therapist /society/ my wife or I wanted them to be, my therapist and I just accepted the fact that they were who they were, were going to think, say and behave the way they were because thats why they were created.

we didnt even try to get any alters to trust or talk with my therapist. One time I asked my therapist if she was going to try and call out, bribe or convince my alters to trust and talk with her.. Her answer was...nope absolutely not. she didnt have to because the only way in which I got diagnosed with DID to begin with was because she and the psychiatrist that tested me had talked to at least two categorical or as the DSM IV TR called it distinct alternate personalities. whether I liked it or not the alters were already coming out to do their job, purpose, reason for being, interacting with people places and things just like any other person does. As a result of understanding alternate personalities New York State had moved away from the old time belief system that alters needed to be called out, talked to ...New York State's way of therapy for dissociative disorders where alters are present was to work with the host (the person in which the alters lived) and the alters will continue to come out and add their input when they are doing their job/purpose/reason for being, just like they have been since I was a very young child under the age of 5. I was very much relieved.

then we moved forwards to working on first stabilizing my daily life problems, then moved into working on what trauma issues I was able to work on. As I gained mental stability and was able to handle more the alters shared by way of things like painting, thoughts, images, voices, journaling, talking with my therapist. As I gained stability and was able to take over doing the jobs/purposes/reasons why the alters were created they integrated with me to become what we are now.....one whole person again.