For the most part it's not as bad as it was a couple years ago. Sometimes it's really not that bad just some bruising but I've had it where I've left large lumps on my legs. At times it made it hard to sit down even. How bad it is depends on how bad I feel. Sometimes I just don't realize how hard I'm hitting or how many times. Goes into a blur I guess would be the way to put it.
I have been hitting less and less though. Now I tend to do it only once or twice a month when it uses to be almost daily. But I haven't ever seen therapy of any kind.. I only have a couple months till i'm legally an adult and my dad doesn't want to pay for one because he doesn't think I have any issues. So I'm basically waiting till I can make the decision myself.
And I ramble all the time too so I don't mind.
It does give some relief but guilt always follows and I do whatever I can to hide it from others.