I don't think this has anything really to do with you truly being mediocre, but not living up to someone else's irrational standard ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by almakic88
I sometimes feel guilty about this because I feel like this way of living is opposite of what my professors expect of me as a professional, which is to be always rational, goal-oriented, and focus on facts.
~Alma
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I can only speak for myself, but I find that I don't feel like I add up not because of my own need to be perfect, but because of the way the "world" views me.
Basically, society seems to bombard us with concepts of what exceptional is, how we should attain it and then demonstrates how we don't live up to that example. It's no wonder we attach the mediocre label to ourselves. When the people and media around you compare you to a fantasy of perfection that only exists through scripts and airbrushing, you can't help but feel less than perfect.
Just as you said, your method doesn't match the example so it's looked down upon. (Reality is that meditation practice is very fact-based ... there's nothing mystical or magical about it.)
I would suggest practicing on developing your confidence. You're far from mediocre in that you speak multiple languages, more than any of the people in my lab do. Make lists and quit comparing yourself, your more exceptional than you think.
