Speed... just keep reminding yourself how sad Jason would be to see how much you're hurting yourself. Try to do the things that he'd be happy and proud of.
And I totally understand how you are feeling about feeling stupid for taking the meds and how you're not wanting pity - that was totally me the other day.
I'm sorry that you're feeling so low  Why don't you try going for a run and run until you're exhausted? That might make ya feel a bit numb.
But not today. Don't do that with all the meds in you.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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