This, and the OP's responses around this, is the thing that made me wonder about the thread. Not the fantasy of the therapist and playing with her hair. People have all sorts of fantasy that can resonate or not resonate with other people, particularly around a therapist.
But the idea that as a patient, someone should be able to choose a therapist's, or anyone else's, hairstyle because one does not like the current one, is a bit of a challenge for me conceptually. Certainly it is something perfectly legitimate, in my opinion, to explore in therapy with the therapist.