When I found out yesterday that My T is going on vacation for the last 2 weeks of October, I think I regressed by at least 30 years. I'm being a baby about the whole thing. I want her to go. She needs the break I'm sure. I truly want her to relax. I just wish I wouldn't be missing 4 sessions. I'm already anxious about it. She said she wants me to email and that she would have time to talk with me on the phone. Part of me is absolutely relieved that I'll still be in contact with her and part of me just wants her to go away and take a complete break from me. I hope I can bring myself to turn down the phone checks. I think she's a little worried because once when she went away I ended up EDed in the psych ward. It just can not happen this time.

It makes me feel worse when I know so many of you don't get to see your Ts as often as I do and 2 weeks would be a piece of cake for most of you. I still have 3 sessions before she goes but I almost want to skip the last one because I have no idea what shape I'll be in. I rarely cry in front of her. I may even end up acting like an insolent little brat. What a horrid way to part that would be. OMG!!! I still have almost 2 weeks of "leaving anxiety" before I have to face the 2 weeks of "left/gone anxiety".

Sorry to ramble!!!!! I'm such a basket case!!!!

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