Over this summer I got shingles in my ear. I was bedridden for 2 months, half my face was paralyzed, I lost 15 pounds (6 foot 120 pounds) and I lost contact with all except for my family. I can almost fully smile now, and I can almost close both my eyes. I have 3 new groups of friends (that I mainly drink with) and I've broken my barriers enough to tell these people how I truly feel. Why is my depression not getting better? Everything that could possibly start improving has improved, except for this impossibly overwhelming despair. I don't know what to do anymore.